After the shooting in Orlando, then the highly publicized videos of the killings of Philando Castile and Alton Sterling, then the subsequent shooting of police officers in Dallas and Baton Rouge and many more, I had such a heavy heart. I have been so afraid for my country lately. I never imagined that this would happen. I thought that we were past this. I knew that things were bad, sure. But I never thought that people would start shooting police officers.
I'm not here to point fingers or place blame in any way. I've seen the videos circulating the internet. I know police brutality is a real thing. But I also believe in my heart that the majority of police officers are good people with families who just want to protect and serve. I know that racism is still very real and still effects many people in terrible ways, and it's not right.
What do we do?
I've struggled with this. I hate seeing all of this happen. I just want our country to be united and proud, regardless of the color of our skin or even our sexual orientation. I can't understand why someone would be so angry that they would feel compelled to shoot innocent people.
Let me just say that I am not much of a people person. Most of the time, I have an easier time sympathizing with animals. Because let's face it: animals are cute and innocent and they can't make snarky remarks. Let me say also that this is coming from a significantly hardened person. Growing up as the "fat girl" in school has a way of making one pretty defensive when it comes to other people.
That being said, I love you.
Yes. You.
I don't care if you're black, white, brown, purple, or green. I don't care if you're bisexual or gay or straight. I don't care if you don't like me. I love you. I will be completely honest and say that, as an imperfect human being I do struggle to like you sometimes. Okay, a lot of the time. I may not understand your way of life and I may not agree with your political views. But I love you. From one child of God to another, I love you.
I've been through some difficult things recently and it has made me realize that for me, things like this are not worth fighting for. I may not like the people that are acting out against the cops. I may not like the cops who are dealing with their subjects too violently. I may not understand the lifestyle of someone who is gay. But it's not worth it for me to hate you. You see, I've been quietly fighting my own battle. I've been hurting behind closed doors. I've been alone and hopeless and screaming inside when the rest of the world when right on turning. I realized that I am not the only person who hurts. I am not the only person who feels alone. At the end of the day, I do not want to add to someone else's burdens. I do not want to contribute to their hurt. I want to uplift them. I want to love them.
So if you're involved with this craziness going on in our country, or if you're hurting at all, just know that I love you. I may not understand you or agree with you or even know you, but I love you.
