I know that since I have an insane amount of followers here on my little blog you are all probably seriously concerned for my well-being. I did not intend on creating this cute little page just to completely drop off of the face of the planet. Unfortunately, life happens sometimes.
Sometimes, your husband decides to join the U.S. Army. Sometimes, it's something that you find extremely challenging due to past experiences. Sometimes, what's meant to be is meant to be and Alanna has to deal with it.
So here I am, three days to go before my other half leaves for basic training for NINE weeks. Then AIT for another TEN weeks. See how fun this will be for me? I'm really trying not to be negative. I have struggled and struggled and struggled with this decision. I am finally accepting that this is what God has intended for my life, whether I like it or not. I am also pushing aside my fear and anger to realize that this will be a good thing. It is a very good opportunity for my husband to get skills training and free college. It's an opportunity for us to find our place in the world and meet new people and see new things. It is certainly an opportunity for me to strengthen myself and find my own independence. I really struggle with that, as I've told my loved ones over and over, I am NOT one of those amazing, strong, independent women who can handle being alone all the time. I am a worrier and I have anxiety SO bad. Today one of my new neighbors came to visit me and gave me a message that I really needed. She said that Christ was meek and humble, and that we strive to be like him in this way. She said that to be meek is not to be weak. It is to be kind and to have love for others. Being humble and accepting God's path for you empowers you to get through your trials.
To add to my struggles, I also lost my grandfather on Sunday. It is the first time I have really had to deal with loss. All of my other grandparents are still alive, along with a great-grandmother. I didn't get to see grandpa often because he lived in British Columbia, but he did mean a lot to me. He always took all of us grandkids on "lion hunts" and he would tickle me with his whiskers and make me laugh. He was always smiling, always joking. He was a kind, gentle man with a quiet strength and wisdom. I am so grateful to be one of his. I hope that he knows how much he meant to so many.
Although I'm going through a lot, I know that there are so many people there for me. All of you that are reading right now are supporting me and I am thankful for you. I have a wonderful family that will help me through. I have a sweet little boy that will keep me smiling. Thanks for joining me in my journey.
